The Vacant Chair
by Tauna Petit-Strawn
Summary: Sequel to "Off the Record". More notes inside.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N I should have put a note on "Off the Record" saying that story was inspired by the song "Was My Brother in the Battle"…except that the fact that the story didn't stick with the fact that it was a Union soldier who was being sought.**

 **A/N This sequel came about after listening to the song "The Vacant Chair" sung by Kathy Mattea. John William Grout was an eighteen year old Union lieutenant who was killed towards the first of the war. A poem was written in his memory by the family and, later, put to music. I know I had Joe fighting for the South only his family would still feel the same. I would post links to both songs only this site forbids it.**

Chapter One

The night sky was as black as could be, and only a handful of stars could be seen poking their heads out. Still, the crickets' songs could be heard throughout the night air, along with an occasional hoot of a night owl. With the blackness of the night, and no lights coming from the window, an onlooker might think the front of the Cartwright home to be completely vacant. Only, they'd be wrong.

Adam, dressed in his regular black shirt, pants and boots, sat on the porch with the top of the chair leaning against the outside wall, his right leg was resting on top of his left one. His arms held his guitar, but his fingers refused to play. The war had ended; he'd survived and came home, just as Joe had said he would. However, Adam had held onto the hope that, despite what his baby brother had said, that the doctor would be proven wrong. That dream had been dashed the day Colonel Parker had walked up, handed him a letter and said simply, 'It's from your father."

When someone turned on a light inside the house, and the light shone through the window, Adam set his guitar down and picked up the envelope that sat on the table next to him. He'd carried it with him until the day General Lee surrendered and all the soldiers went home; however, as he'd confessed to his father, he'd never opened it. No one had to tell him what his father had written; no one had to tell him Joe's heart had done as the doctor had said it would, and no one had to tell him Joseph was no longer walking among them. Why should they have to tell him when Adam had felt Joseph's presence before the letter ever arrived and heard him say, _"Don't give up! Never give up on your convictions, even if they go against mine. Isn't that what you told me once?"_

Adam looked at the letter and thought back to the day he stepped off the train, still dressed in his major's uniform. Hoss, Cynthia and his father had been at the train station to meet him. Then, later, when the family had gathered around the dinner table and Adam had looked at the vacant chair... his baby brother's glaring absence hurt him more than anything that had ever happened to him during the war. "You should be here, Joe. Why did you have to go play hero and take that bullet for the general."

Ben, who had realized his oldest son was not in the house, made his way out of the house and onto the porch, using a lantern. He sighed as he saw Adam looking at the unopened envelope. "You need to open it, son." Ben said as he stepped onto the porch and leaned against one of the posts.

"I figured it was from you telling me about Joe." Adam tilted his head against the wall and turned his face towards his father. "I didn't want to hear the truth when it arrived, didn't want to face the fact there'd be a vacant chair when I arrived home. I needed a dream to keep me going. Even after I'd feel his presence or hear words whispered to me in the midst of a battle. Crazy, huh?'

Ben felt a twinge pain in his heart. He understood more than he could say. How many times had he watched Joe do what he could with the little strength he had in him, and then lied to himself saying that Joe was getting better? How many times had he prayed that what he wanted to see really would be the case? "I put a letter about Joe in there; that's true." Ben said after a moment and then turned his eyes upwards. "But he wrote you too," Ben turned his gaze towards Adam; he wasn't surprised to see shock appear in Adam's eyes. The fact that he'd been carrying a letter around from Joseph was probably the last thing Adam had expected to hear. "Open it up son, he wanted you to have it." Ben said as he stepped away from the post and stepped off the porch. "He wanted you to read it." He then walked away, leaving Adam looking at the unopened letter in his hands.

After what seemed like an eternity, Adam did as his father had asked. He opened the unread letter and separated what turned out to be quite a number of pages …one from his father telling him that Little Joe had passed away in his sleep, and another that read _'Dear Adam'_ at the top. He put the letter from his father back in the envelope and began reading the one from Joe.

 _I don't know that I'll still be on the top side of the grass by the time you get this. Guess that doesn't matter, not really. I wanted to thank you for spending that last night with me, even if I did tell you to go. To know that you'd take a bedroll and sleep on the floor just to be with me one last time… I can never put into words what that meant to me._

Adam felt minor shock waves go through him. When he'd went back into the room he was absolutely sure that Joe had been sound asleep. And, when Adam had arisen the next morning, his baby brother's eyes were still shut. He'd felt blessed to at least have Joe awake and eating some chicken noodle soup just before he, Adam, had to leave. For months after getting the unopened letter, Adam had consoled himself by telling himself that he'd at least been given the chance to say goodbye to Joe. Now, Joe was telling him he'd known all along that he, Adam, had slept on the bedroom floor? His eyes went back to the letter. He couldn't help but wonder just what else his baby brother had to say.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Previously:

 _I don't know that I'll still be on the top side of the grass by the time you get this. Guess that doesn't matter, not really. I wanted to thank you for spending that last night with me, even if I did tell you to go. To know that you'd take a bedroll and sleep on the floor just to be with me one last time… I can never put into words what that meant to me._

 **Adam felt minor shock waves go through him. When he'd went back into the room he was absolutely sure that Joe had been sound asleep. And, when Adam had arisen the next morning, his baby brother's eyes were still shut. He'd felt** **blessed** **to at least have Joe awake and eating some chicken soup just before he, Adam, had to leave. For months after getting the unopened letter, Adam had consoled himself by telling himself that he'd at least been given the chance to say goodbye to Joe. Now, Joe was telling him he'd known all along that he, Adam, had slept on the bedroom floor? His eyes went back to the letter. He couldn't help but wonder just what else his baby brother had to say.**

~oOo~

 _The rain is hitting my bedroom window. I can hear the wind blowing outside, blowing hard enough to blow down a few trees. I can't help but remember all the nights I spent with my unit, only many times things were cold, wet and damp. Looking back at it, I'm surprised we didn't lose more men to one sickness or the other. Guess I'm not telling you anything you can't relate to, I'm sure it was the same way on the North's side._

Adam closed his eyes and tilted his head backwards for a moment. Cold, wet and damp were words he had no problem understanding. The same thing went when it came to losing one soldier after another to one sickness or the other. A part of him wanted to quit reading, to hide the letter away. That part of him wanted to pretend his baby brother was simply away and that the vacant chair inside would soon welcome its owner home. However, knowing he had to deal with reality, and the fact that Joe had taken time to write, Adam opened his eyes and continued reading.

 _I wanted to thank you, Adam. I know I didn't do that enough, thank you that is. I know you had a lot of responsibility thrust upon at a very young age…too young if you ask me, which you didn't. You, Pa and Hoss, you all taught me a lot…even if I didn't seem to be listening at times. And you saved my life a time or two, and I'm not just talking about while I was home. You saved my life more than once after I signed up to fight for the South. It was because of you I was blessed to make it home, spend time with Pa and Hoss, and why I'll be able to rest next to Ma when my time comes._

Adam sat straight up. What on earth was Joe talking about? He'd never seen Joe until the day of the skirmish that had proven to be the first step towards his brother dying. How could Joe say that Adam had saved his life? He continued reading.

 _You probably didn't know you had the power to get inside a man's head and stay there, only you do._

Adam couldn't stop himself; he started laughing. The visual that his baby brother's words had just created in Adam's mind was just too funny not to. Once he had his laugher under control, he continued reading,

 _I can't tell you how many times I'd find myself in one situation or another and not know what to do. And then, before I knew it, I'd have a flashback of either Hoss, you and me-or just you and me-and I'd hear you telling us just what you thought we'd should do. The first couple times I experienced that I was stunned, but I would quickly see how the same concept could be applied to the situation I was in. After that, I stopped being shocked and just listened; it literally saved my life more than once. So, you see, I owe you a lot._

With his attention on Joe's letter, Adam didn't hear the front door open nor was he aware that Hoss, who had was spending time with his father and brother while Cynthia was visiting her grandmother in California, had stopped at the edge of the porch. For his part, Hoss instantly felt a little uneasy as he saw tears flowing freely from Adam's eyes. Not wanting Adam to realize that he had been seen crying, something that Hoss knew his older brother would not appreciate, he quickly backed out of sight. Then, so to give Adam time to compose himself, Hoss made his way back to the front door. Then, even though he knew it might confuse his father who was sitting in his red chair, Hoss opened the door and shut again…only he made sure it shut louder than necessary. It worked, by the time Hoss made his way to the side of the porch the second time, Adam had the letter-which he'd finished reading- back in its envelope and had made sure his face was free of any tears.

"Pa said you were out here. Hope, you don't mind my disturbin' you." Hoss smiled at Adam and then stepped onto the porch.

"I don't mind." Adam answered as he slid the letter he'd read back into his shirt pocket; he'd put it into his top drawer later. "You need something?"

Hoss nodded, thinking of what he had planned. "Cynthia is going to be coming home in a couple of days, and there's that dance in Virginia City on Saturday."

Adam frowned slightly as Hoss, who had been leaning against the post, stepped away from the post and shoved both his hands into his pant pockets while rocking on the heels of his boots. It made Adam afraid he knew what was coming; he did.

"I was hoping you would attend the dance with Cynthia and me." Hoss looked over at Adam in hopeful anticipation.

"Two's company, three's a crowd. Didn't anyone tell you that?" Adam smirked while his eyes laughed. He knew Hoss meant well. After all, the man was probably tired of seeing him acting so melancholy, and he'd gone back to withdrawing from everyone.

"I was thinkin' I could get you a date, or ya could get your own." Hoss replied, a bit of hesitancy could be heard in his voice. The fact that he really hoped Adam would say yes was something that anyone-if they'd seen him- could see as plain as the nose on his face.

Adam glanced down at the letter sticking out of his pocket. A couple of lines from the last part of the letter popped into his head. _'Don't let any grief you have more me stop you from truly living. If that is the only way you can remember me, forget me all together'_ Adam knew forgetting Little Joe wasn't an option. He had to start really living again. "I'll find someone." Adam said as he leaned back in his chair and thought on a beautiful proprietor's daughter.


	3. The Air Cleared and A Date Made

A/N The Battle of Chancellorsville was a major battle of the Civil War. The battle was fought from April 30 to May 6, 1863, in Spotsylvania County, Virginia…near the village of Chancellorsville. It was one of the battles the South won.

Chapter Three

Adam pulled the reins in his hands back just enough to stop Sport in front of the hitching post that the widower Howard Klein had erected off to the side of the Klein's barn. The man was the museum proprietor; his auburn-haired daughter, Mary, lived with him. She was a twenty-seven-year-old dressmaker; though, her last name was legally Hansen. Her late husband had been killed at the ***** Battle of Chancellorsville, and left her with two young sons to raise…though the oldest had died as a result of contracting Scarlet Fever shortly after his father's death. Before he'd started feeling melancholy, Adam had started seeing her enough to cause a few tongues to gossip.

"Here goes nothing," Adam smirked only to Sport as he dismounted the animal and tethered him to the hitching post. Adam then turned and walked towards the Klein's 1,200 square foot, two-bedroom cabin made from brown cedar logs. The outside looked plain enough, but looks can be deceiving. The inside of the small home could have easily been mistaken for the home of a rich man living in a huge mansion. It helped that Mr. Klein-while not a wealthy man- knew how to budget his money well. If that was not the case, Adam was sure the cabin's interior would not have been so exquisite. Adam lifted his hand to knock only to find himself freezing for a split second. However, the moment he hesitated, he could hear Joe's words, the ones about really living, ring in his ears. "If this doesn't go well, I'm blaming you, baby brother; where ever you're at." Adam couldn't resist muttering as he knocked on the door, and for a split second he could have sworn he heard Joe's laughter.

"Adam!" Mary, whose eyes widened when she opened and saw who was standing on the porch, exclaimed. She then smiled wide and stepped outside. "You'll excuse me, only we'll have to sit on the porch swing," she motioned towards the white swing her father had recently hung on the porch. "Father went to town, though he should be home soon."

"That is fine." Adam smiled as he followed her to the swing and sat down on the far-left side while she took the right.

When Adam fell silent, Mary looked at him, curiosity in her eyes. "Is there something wrong?"

Adam shook his head. "Nothing's wrong. I just didn't know how to say I'm sorry. I mean, pulling away like I did, with no explanation and all. It wasn't right. It's just that I found myself liking you, I mean really liking you and…" he sighed and turned up the palms of his hands, "I was afraid. Thirty-six years old, been through a war and I got scared."

Mary nodded slowly, her eyes filling with understanding. "The war hasn't been over that long, Adam, and you've had a lot of the aftermath to deal with. It's more than understandable that you would feel that way. I…" she gave him a half smile and said, "I've never been in a battle, but I do know how it is to lose someone you care about deeply to one. And," she sighed, "Losing a child isn't exactly easy."

Adam gave her an apologetic smile as he thought on a man and a young nine-year-old boy he'd only seen in photographs and heard about in the stories Mary and her father had told him. "I know, and I'm sorry. I should have been able to talk to you."

Mary couldn't agree more only she wasn't about to such it. Why should she when she knew all too well how some days could be? "Sometimes the pain overshadows common sense. Don't worry about it. Besides, truth be told, it gave me time to do my own thinking, and I owe you and your family an apology."

Adam's face filled with confusion. Mary had but been nothing but polite and cordial from the day she and her father moved to Virginia City. Also, his father had told Adam that Mary had willingly helped with Joe's care once he became too weak to do much. Ben had told his oldest that 'the only way I could 'pay' her for the help was to make anonymous donations of material to her dress shop, but don't tell her that'. What was there for her to be sorry for? "Why?"

Mary shrugged her shoulders and sighed. "I've been so jealous and angry." She lifted her chin as she looked at the dark blue sky dotted with white fluffy clouds. "You got to visit your baby brother before he came home. Your father and Hoss had seven months in which to say their goodbyes while all I got…" she bit her lip and successfully fought any tears that wanted to come. "All I got was a small, yellow, telegram saying, basically, 'your husband died in a battle that resulted in a win for the South."

Adam once again sent a silent prayer of thanksgiving upward. He knew how blessed he and his family were; he knew of many families who could have told him they knew exactly where Mary was coming from. He wished he knew the perfect words to say only he didn't. So, instead, he simply relied, "I am sorry. You, and others, deserved better." He then fell silent.

For a few minutes, neither Mary or Adam said anything else. They simply sat in silence and allowing the cool soft breeze that was blowing through the Klein's yard to help them both relax. Finally, Adam, whose thoughts had turned to Hoss' request and his own promise, turned sideways, leaned his back against the arm of the swing and asked, "When is Nathaniel coming home?" Nathanial was Mary's five-year-old son who had been visiting his Grandpa and Grandma Hansen in Carson City.

"Grandpa Hansen is bringing him on Tuesday. Why?" Mary asked as she adjusted her seating on the swing.

Adam took a deep breath and then told her about the dance. "I'd like you to accompany me; that is, if you'll allow me to pick you up."

Mary couldn't hide the sparkle in her eyes as the smile on her face spread from ear to ear. "I'd love to go with you. What time will you be here?"

.


	4. An unexpected surprise and I'll be fine

Chapter Four

Ben sat behind his desk going through some contracts when Adam walked through the front door. The Cartwright patriarch would have continued looking at the papers on his desk only his oldest son was actually whistling as he took off his gun belt, rolled it up and put it in the credenza. That is, after he'd taken his pistol out and emptied its chambers. Only when Adam had put the pistol and bullets up did Ben speak.

"Have a good trip to town?" Ben asked, grateful that this particular son was radiating a happier and lighter mood than had been Adam's companion for quite some time.

"Yes, I did." Adam turned to face his father and then told Ben that he, Adam, had asked Mary to the dance and that she'd accepted. "I never should have stopped seeing her. It's time I got back to living."

Ben started grinning. He'd been praying for this day ever since Adam had started sliding backwards and hoped-after Hoss had admitted talking to Adam about getting a date and going to the dance-that this would be the result of his son's trip to town. He almost started hating the fact that he needed to talk business with his oldest son; almost, but not quite. "That's good, because before the dance, I need your help. Someone has to meet with Peter Jensen, at the gentleman's club on Friday, and go over these contracts, the ones stating that the army is going to be buying more horses from us." The moment he said the words he saw a lightning fast look of darkness pass through Adam's eyes; though, it was gone as fast as it had appeared. Ben sighed; he didn't have to be told why he'd received such a reaction. He just hoped Adam wouldn't pull away from helping with the matter.

Telling his father he wouldn't be available was tempting; however, Adam had meant what he said. And, getting back to life didn't mean losing out on selling their horses just because it was the army buying them. "You said before the dance." Adam put his hands on his hips and asked, "Please, tell me that doesn't mean on Saturday." He didn't want to chance anything going wrong on Saturday. He and Mary both needed to put the past behind them and move on. Talking to the army on Saturday would only put a damper on things-especially if Mr. Jensen insisted on dragging out the negotiations. That, spending more time on negotiating things, was something the man was famous for; Adam didn't like it.

Ben wasn't about to admit he'd originally thought about having the meeting set for just that day until Hoss had talked to him. Why should he when it was rather irrelevant? "No, Friday at noon at the gentleman's club." Ben sat back in his chair and folded his arms. "Or, I can send word into town we'd like to have him come here." It was all Ben could do not to laugh as Adam shot him a look that said 'I just told you I'm seeing Mary again which means…you know full well I'll be going into town on Friday anyway' As it was, he refrained from laughing and waited for Adam to answer.

"No need to send for him," Adam said as he turned and headed for the stairs, "I'll meet him at noon." He then disappeared up the stairs and around the corner. He'd no sooner left his father than Hoss opened the door and stepped aside, allowing Cynthia to enter the house first. When she did, Ben's eyes widened and his jaw hit the floor.

Hoss and Cynthia couldn't help but start beaming and chuckling. When she'd left for California, she and Hoss knew that-since she'd be gone a month-there was a high chance the secret they'd been keeping would no longer be able to be hidden. They'd been right; the small bump underneath Cynthia's dress was just large enough now to be noticed by anyone who happened to look her way.

"I think these two have been keeping something from us, Pa." Adam, who had realized the items he'd went upstairs for had been left on the bookshelf downstairs-not on the one in his room-was standing on the top of the stairs. His eyes were laughing as he spoke, and they laughed harder when his Pa threw him a looked that said, "What on earth gave you that idea?"

"We wanted to surprise you." Hoss said in between his own chuckles. "We're going to be parents next spring!"

Ben stood up, his face glowing with happiness, as he hurried over to his daughter-in-law and Hoss. He could hardly believe he was going to be a grandfather at last. Besides, after all the pain that they'd experienced over the past few years, Ben was more than ready for the joy he always found in the face of a newborn baby. "I'll take these kinds of surprises any time!" Ben replied, still beaming.

"Congratulations," Adam, who was now standing in the living room, smiled the best he could. "You'll be great parents; I know you will." He then excused himself, saying he was going to sit on the porch and relax after the long day he'd had. With his mind on his expectant wife, Hoss didn't see the flash of sadness pass through his brother's eyes. However, Ben did. That being the case, he visited them just long enough to avoid arousing suspicion and then excused himself…telling them to feel free to partake of some of the leftovers Hop Sing had in the kitchen. Ben then made his way out of the house and to the porch, where Adam was once again sitting on the porch plucking a few notes on his guitar.

Adam kept his eyes on his guitar but, as soon as he heard the approaching footsteps stop, he said, "Don't worry about me; I'm fine." Ben wanted to believe that only he knew 'that' look; he'd seen it too often…especially since Adam had come home from the war. It made him concerned that; maybe, he'd been wrong to ask Adam to deal with the horses and the army.

"Then what's wrong?" He asked as he walked around to the other side of the porch table and sat down.

Adam sighed and continued plucking his guitar. "I'm thrilled for Hoss and Cynthia, really. I also love the idea of having a niece or nephew to spoil and send back to their house." He stopped plucking his guitar and looked Ben straight in the eye. "Think about when that baby is due, and then let it go, okay? I'll be fine. Now," he said as he looked back at his guitar and began plucking the chords, "I ran into the mayor and agreed to sing a few songs at the dance. I need to practice."

Ben felt like kicking himself. Joe had been born in the spring! Naturally Hoss' and Cynthia's announcement that their baby was due in the spring would hit a sore spot. Ben inwardly sighed; he knew that once the excitement of finding out he was going to be a grandfather wore off, it would hit him just as hard. "As long as you're okay." Ben said as he stood up and started to walk away.

"Pa," Adam stopped his playing and waited for his father to turn around.

"Yes, son," Ben tilted his head ever so slightly and looked at Adam.

"Thanks," Adam smiled warmly. "Thanks for everything." He then turned his attention back to his guitar while Ben smiled wide and walked away.

.


	5. Package Deal

Chapter Five

Adam stepped out of the gentleman's club and took a deep breath. As he had feared, the army officer had drug out what could have been a simple half hour meeting; maybe forty-five minute, into one very long two and a half hour discussion. At least the air was fresh and the contract his father had sent with him was signed. Adam stepped off the boardwalk, crossed the street and headed towards the livery stable. The sooner he got Sports saddled, the sooner he would go see Mary. As he did so he saw Grace, a red headed woman who worked at the saloon, step of the general store. He silently groaned; the woman was flirting with him. At one time, he'd returned the advances, but not now, not after reading Joe's letter. Adam knew that to do as Joe had asked him to do, to go forward as he himself wanted to, he couldn't go down 'that' road anymore. That being the case, he had no desire to do or say anything that would justify the waitress to think he had any interest in anything connected to that lifestyle.

"Why hello there, Adam." Grace batted her eyes and smiled at the dark-haired Cartwright as she stepped in front of him. "Fancy bumping into you. Haven't seen you in the saloon lately. Have you been under the weather?"

Grace cared little about his health, and Adam knew it. How could she when she was too worried about getting a man, any man, to notice her? That was another thing he'd finally admitted to himself…Grace cared little for anyone but herself. And, whether she'd admit that to herself or not, Adam was fully aware of it. He counted to ten and reminded himself he didn't need to be in a foul mood when he knocked on Mary's door. "I am fine; I have simply been busy. Now, if you don't mind," Adam replied politely, but with a firm tone in his eyes and in his voice. "I have an appointment to keep." The message for her to 'look elsewhere' was loud and clear as he walked around her.

Grace, who had only moved to Virginia City a few months ago, had never seen Adam the way others insisted he had been before the war…the man he'd started to become once more before starting to slide backwards. No, the only side of Adam she'd ever seen was a man struggling with haunting memories and grief for a lost brother. All she could do was stand and stare, unable to move at his abrupt and no nonsense tone of voice. After a minute, she did exactly as Adam knew she would do; she let out a pitiful 'harrumph' and headed towards the saloon.

Adam simply smiled and continued walking.

~oOo~

Having his mind on Mary, and thinking Nathaniel was still in Carson City, Adam didn't see the dark blue eyes peering down at him from the Pine Tree that stood next to the Hansen's home. This being the case, he jerked in surprise when "UNCLE ADAM!" sounded through the air. Adam snapped his head backwards and gasped as he saw young Nathaniel Hansen smiling down at him…and getting ready to jump.

"Nat…" Adam got as far the first symbol of the child's name when he found himself holding out his arms and catching one over-active five-year-old. Adam thought about chewing the boy out only to have to hide a grin as Mary-who had happened to step out of the house just in time to hear, and see, what was happening-do it for him.

"Nathaniel James Hansen!" Mary flew down the steps and quickly to her son from Adam's arms. "WHAT possessed you to do such a thing? What were you thinking?" She then looked apologetically at Adam. "His grandparents got an urgent telegram; they had to go to California."

"I just wanted Uncle Adam." Nathaniel answered with the look of a child who was clueless as to what his mother was so upset about. "I knew Uncle Adam would catch me."

As Mary and Nathaniel exchanged words, Adam was startled to have a flash back come to him.

" _JOSEPH FRANCIS CARTWRIGHT!" Ben bellowed as Adam put his six-year-old brother down on his feet; the young child had climbed of his bedroom window and had been playing on the roof when Adam had ridden up. Adam had barely had time to get off his horse and get close enough to the house when his baby brother yelled his name…and jumped off the roof._

" _What's wrong, Pa?" Joe looked up with questioning eyes, "Adam wouldn't let me hit the ground."_

"Adam?" Mary, who has seen a small amount of color drain from her beau's face, was worried that-somehow-Adam had actually been hurt while saving her son from what could have at least been one broken bone.

"I'm fine. However," Adam put his hands on his hips and looked down at Nathaniel. "I don't want you to ever do anything like that again. No matter what you think, I might not be able to keep you from hitting the ground."

"But you can do anything." Nathaniel's eyes filled with confusion.

Adam couldn't help but chuckle as he knelt in front of the boy, making it so he could talk to him face to face…. something that he would only learn later impressed Mary greatly. "Let me tell you a secret I was reminded of by a boy who turned into a very wise man." Adam smiled as he thought on his baby brother's letter. "Every man that walks this earth has strengths and weakness, and most do their best to be good, decent people." He paused as he thought only to himself 'Some just start out their lives a bit wilder than others'. He then continued speaking. "However, no mortal man can do everything; all he can do is his best. So," Adam said as he smiled at Nathaniel, "while it's true, I can promise you I'd do my best to keep you from harm; I can't promise I would succeed each and every time. I need you to promise never to jump out of a tree, or off anything, with the expectations that I can catch you every time. You could get seriously hurt."

Nathaniel's eyebrows knitted and a very serious came into his eyes. At his age, he never taken the time to think of such things. To him everything was black and white. Still, Adam never lied so Nathaniel nodded his head. "Okay, Uncle Adam." He then excused himself, saying he was going to find his grandfather.

Mary shook her head as she watched her son raced around the side of the house. "He can be a handful, but he's a good boy, really." She tried to hide the fear that Adam might change his mind about the two of them seeing each other again. After all, not every man wanted to raise another man's child. However, her eyes betrayed her.

Adam smiled as he took a hold of her arm and started walking with her. Once they were behind the barn, he pulled her into her arms. "Don't worry about him. When I said I realized that I liked you, really liked you, that meant that I accept that I am courting a package deal as it were. Only question now is," he started to lower his head, "Can we get your father to watch Nathaniel tomorrow evening? After all, last time I checked, it was for couples only."


	6. In Their Honor

The Vacant Chair

Chapter Six

I got thinking and, while I can't post links to other sites or do songfics on this site, there's nothing that says a song that is in Public Domain can't be included in a story. That being the case, I'm going to include a portion of _"The Vacant Chair"_ in this chapter.

Also, I do need to correct something I stated in the first chapter. When I first listened Kathy Mattea sing this song, I misunderstood. I thought it was the young soldier's family who wrote the song. I was wrong. It was written by **H.S. Washburn** and put to music **George F. Root** _in 1861. Also the *As you will see, Adam sings "green eyes" instead of blue._

 _ **Excerpt from Chapter Five:**_

" … _._ _Only question now is," he started to lower his head, "Can we get your father to watch Nathaniel tomorrow evening? After all, last time I checked, it was for couples only."_

~oOo~

Music filled the newest building in Virginia City…a place built to replace the old social hall, the one they'd used solely for dances, dinners and whatever other activities the citizens wanted to hold. The old one had burned to the ground towards the end of the war. The music drifted out and filled whatever space it could find any time someone opened the front door. The evening air was just right, and the soft, gentle breeze made it pretty tempting to simply wander around outside. However, Adam had made a promise to the mayor, and he needed to keep it.

Reaching out, Adam opened the door and held it until Mary had entered the social hall. Afterwards, he stepped inside and shut the door behind him. His eyes scanned the walls and the ceiling; someone had went through a lot of trouble hanging up various decorations ranging from simple garland to silver and gold stars. Adam almost asked if someone forgot it wasn't the holiday season.

"Adam!" Roy, who had been standing on the far side of the room, hurried across the floor and held out his hand, which Adam readily accepted.

"Hello, Roy," Adam's smile was wide and genuine, something Roy was extremely happy to see. After all the months he'd had no choice but simply hope Adam would move beyond the past. "Is there something I can do for you?"

Roy looked at Mary, an apologetic look in his eyes, and then looked back at Adam. "I know the mayor asked you to sing a couple of songs later only…" he paused as he rubbed the back of his neck and then continued, "there's more than one person who wish you'd take a few minutes and sing _The Vacant Chair_ …as a way to honor those we lost due to war. They're just afraid to ask; I heard them say as much." He then looked at Adam to see if he, Roy, was in trouble for making the request.

Mary, who had felt Adam stiffen ever so slightly, gave his hand a squeeze and sent a silent message with her eyes… Adam heard it loud and clear. "You do what you wish, either way I will stand by you." He thought on each solider who had been killed in action, died as the result of sickness or some other reason. He thought on the families who, like his, were taking one day at a time. Slowly he nodded and answered, "You make the announcement, and I'll sing the song. Maybe," he looked at Mary, the love he had finally admitted he had for her shining in his eyes, "Mary can join me."

"I would be honored to." Mary smiled back as she and Adam followed Roy through the throng of people in attendance. By the time Roy was standing on the stage, the noise had dropped from extremely loud to an almost deafening silence. Though, as Adam and Mary started walking up the stairs-once Roy made the announcement, the people in attendance started clapping hard enough to raise the roof. However, once Adam strapped on the guitar Roy had retrieved from the side of the stage and started strumming the guitar, the clapping immediately stopped.

 _"_ _We shall meet but we shall miss him. There will be one vacant chair._ _We shall linger to caress him,_ _while we breathe our ev'ning prayer._ _When a year ago we gathered, joy was in his mild green eye."_ Okay, Adam thought as he sang the song actually said blue eye, but he just had to insert the color of Joe's eyes. No one that noticed said a thing. Why should they when they found themselves doing the same thing? That is, they were putting the color of their loved in in the "blue" spot. Well, unless their lost family member happened to have had blue eyes, they were **.** _"But a golden cord is severed. And our hopes in ruin lie. We shall meet, but we shall miss him. There will be one vacant chair. We shall linger to caress him while we breathe our ev'ning prayer."_

Adam and Mary continued singing, their voices blending perfectly together, and their love for lost family members could be heard loud and clear. By the time the song was over there wasn't a dry eye in the building, though everyone broke out in applause as the couple made their way off the stage.

"Let's slip outside for a bit." Adam, who was starting to feel more than closed in, whispered softly.

Mary didn't want to leave the dance, only she cared more for Adam than the music. This being the case, she agreed and slipped out the side door. Once outside Adam took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Perfect timing?" Mary asked as she nodded towards the door as she slipped her arm around Adam's waist.

"The request?" Adam smiled, though it was a small one, as he slid his arm around her waist as well. "Yeah, but it's okay. They deserve it, the families and all the men we lost that is."

As she and Adam walked around in silence, Mary moved just a tad bit closer and held on tight. She didn't know what she'd done to deserve such a good man as Adam, but she wasn't going to argue either. Only when Adam led Mary to the church yard, did he speak. And, when he did, it was to pull the rug out from under her…in a good way.


	7. Life Goes On and Epilogue

The Vacant Chair

Chapter Seven

Ben again sat behind his desk with his eyes and his mouth wide open. For a moment, all he could do was stare at Adam. He'd known Adam and Mary liked each other, but he'd never seen this announcement coming. That is, not so soon. It made him, unconsciously, give Adam a look that spoke louder than any train whistle his son had ever heard.

"She's not with child." Adam folded his arms and shot his father a slightly irritated glare. He might not have only he wanted to make it crystal clear she wasn't in 'that' condition. "If she was, would we be waiting until August to get married?" He gave his father a look that said 'oh, please, you're smarter than that!'

Ben relaxed and smiled. "I'm sorry." He stood up and smiled as he walked around to the front of the desk. "I was hoping for such an announcement, just not so fast. You're going to have people talking."

Adam shook his head and replied, "They can say what they want. We're both old enough to know what we make our own decisions." He then admitted that, if it wasn't for the fact he didn't want anyone getting the wrong idea about Mary, he'd just have asked her to elope with him. "However, I'm not giving anyone a justified reason to question her morals."

Since Adam had never cared what people said in the past, it told Ben just how serious his oldest was about Mary. Though, he was still concerned the engagement was taking place far too soon. He feared he'd been wrong and that Adam hadn't really dealt with everything that had happened over the past five years. His oldest seemed to read his mind.

"I'm fine, Pa. How many times do I have to assure you of that." Adam did his best to keep any frustration out of his voice. "Do I miss Joe, of course I do! Will his death hit me hard now and then? I'm sure it will. However, I _have_ dealt with it, and I _do_ love Mary." He then took a deep breath and said, "I am far too old to have to ask your permission to do this. I asked her to marry me; she's accepted. Her father has given us his blessing and," He paused and, keeping his eyes on his father, asked in a quieter volume, "Do we have yours or not?"

Now it was Ben that looked at Adam as if to say 'I can't believe you have to ask that'. "Of course, you do." Ben smiled and then started beaming as he gave Adam a hug. About that time, Hoss and Cynthia-knocked on the door. And, not a minute later, Adam was telling them what he'd just told his father. There was going to be another wedding in the family.

"I need a best man." Adam looked at Hoss, who was grinning from ear to ear. "I don't suppose you know anyone who wants the job?" There was laughter in his voice as he asked the question.

"You bet I do!" Hoss busted up laughing and, slapping him on the back, congratulated Adam…and then turned towards the dining room and asked what smelled so good. Of course, his question only got his father chuckling and Adam muttering under his breath that some things in life changed, but others never would.

 **Epilogue**

"Do I have to wear this thing?" asked Nathaniel, who had turned six a few months before, stood in front of Adam as Adam fixed the young boy's tie. The two were in one of the classrooms that sat inside the church building. Mary and her former mother-in-law were in another one. Since Mary's mother had passed away just before the war, Mrs. Hansen had happily volunteered to do what she could for Mary. "It feels like someone's choking me."

 _"I think whoever invented these stupid things had a death wish for someone."_ Adam chuckled as he heard an eleven-year-old Joe's words repeating themselves in his ear. He had laughed then, and he laughed now. "I happen to agree with you only, yes, you have to wear it. So do I." Adam smiled as he did his own tie up. "Don't worry though, the moment we leave the church, you can take it off."

Nathaniel would have let out a small 'harrumph' only he was afraid if he did, he'd find himself having to wear the tie all day. That was one thing he didn't want to happen.

While Adam and Nathanial got themselves ready, Mary and Mrs. Hansen were getting a visitor in their room; Ben had just knocked on the door and stepped inside. "You look beautiful." Ben said as he looked at Mary, who was dressed in a long flowing white dress. While the majority of the dress was void of any fancy design, there were small white roses around the neckline and a few lined the bottom of the dress. The veil she wore attached to a small white comb that slid into the bun that sat on top of head. "Adam's a lucky man."

"Are all the guests here?" Mrs. Hansen asked as she prepared to leave the room. "What about Hoss and his family?" The fact that the best man hadn't been there when she arrived had upset Mrs. Hansen.

The smile on Ben's face only got wider. Hoss, Cynthia and their brown headed four month old son, Benjamin Francis, who was just as big as Hoss had been the day he was born, had arrived shortly before Ben had headed up the stairs…apologizing that they were late. It seems like a wheel came off their buggy, and Hoss had had to hurry to fix it. Needless to say, he was in one of the other rooms hurrying to get cleaned up. "Everyone's here. Go ahead and sit with your husband." Ben answered, and then watched as the older woman exited the room.

Once Mrs. Hansen had left, Ben turned his attention back to Mary. He wasn't surprised to see a bit of nervousness in her eyes. He just hoped it didn't mean she was changing her mind. The moment he thought that, she seemed to hear every unspoken word. "I'm not running from the alter." Mary turned away from him and looked into the mirror. "It's just hitting me once more just how blessed I am. What did I do to deserve Adam? Why have I not found myself like so many other women…ones who never remarry?"

As she asked the question, Ben heard Adam saying, basically, the same thing about her before leaving the Ponderosa that morning. _"I keep pinching myself. I thought I was destined to be alone my whole life. Besides," Adam stood in his room looking at his father, "allowing myself to love her meant accepting the fact that grief would again be my visitor one day…or hers."_ Ben gave Mary a fatherly smile as he held out his arm and began leading her out of the room. "Love, true love, is more powerful than an empty chair."

By the time they reached the back of the chapel, Hoss was standing next to Adam while Nathanial stood beside the back pew, along with Cynthia's seven year old blonde niece who had the job of being Mary's flower girl. As the wedding march started Mary looked up the aisle and her eyes fell upon Adam's. Both she and Adam felt goosebumps raise on their skin as they literally felt an unseen power connect the two of them. It was a connection that never would be broken until they laid Mary to rest almost fifty years later.


End file.
